Five-a-side TOTW: May 22nd 2017

Picking an eleven is hard; picking just five is even harder.

The final day of the Premier League season is always an odd occasion. Whether it be weakened teams, barmy goal fests, emotional farewells or even suspicious devices, there is always something intriguing that occurs, and the last day of this season was certainly no different. Realistically there was only one issue that needed to be resolved; the Champions League places. With only champions Chelsea, and runners up Tottenham assured of qualification to Europe’s premier football competition, there were still two places up for grabs, with Manchester City, Liverpool and Arsenal vying for those final two spots. City and Liverpool knew that wins against Watford and Middlesbrough respectively would guarantee their places at the high table, while Arsenal knew they had to win at home to Everton and hope that their rivals would slip up.

Goalkeeper – Castro Pereira

Who? Yes that’s right. Manchester United’s Swiss born Portuguese goalkeeper was making only his second United appearance and his first in the Premier League. He was facing a Crystal Palace side that had flirted with relegation throughout much of the season but had recently enjoyed some fairly impressive. The twenty-year-old looked confident and assured throughout United’s comfortable 2-0 victory. Standing at over 1.90 metres he certainly looks like he has the physical attributes to become a top class Premier League stopper. His United future will largely depend on where David De Gea ends up plying his trade next season, however he will have done himself no harm with this impressive display.

The Stopper – Vincent Kompany

There can be no doubt at all that Manchester City are a different team when their captain is fit. Had he been fit for the whole season we may well have seen Pep Guardiola’s team mounting a more serious title challenge. The Citizens captain only featured 11 times in the league this season yet still managed to aid his sides cause with three goals. Going into the final round of fixtures City knew that a win would guarantee them third place and as a result automatic qualification to the Champions League group stages. Nevertheless, they faced what could have been a sticky fixture away at Watford who had just confirmed that the game would be Walter Mazzari’s last in charge. Kompany led the City charge and calmed what may have been any jangling nerves with a smart header within five minutes of the kick off. It set the tone for an easy afternoon for the two-time Premier League champions, who ran out 5-0 winners in the end.

The Middleman – Georginio Wijnaldum 

My word does this guy score important goals. Already a scorer of vital goals against Manchester City, Chelsea and Arsenal, the ex-Feyenord and Newcastle man can now add Middlesbrough to his already impressive repertoire! While the opponents might not be as illustrious, the goal itself was absolutely crucial. Liverpool knew that only a win would guarantee qualification for the Champions League and prior to Wijnaldum’s intervention Liverpool had been struggling. They were extremely fortunate not to have found themselves a man down after Dejan Lovren inexplicably pulled Patrick Bamford down when through on goal. With half time approaching, Wijnaldum grabbed the game by the scruff of the neck and produced a fierce strike to give the Red Men a lead that they would never surrender. Further further goals from Philippe Coutinho and Adam Lallana sealed an easy 3-0 win.

The Free Role – Josh Harrop 

Again, you may ask “who?” Well this young man had a Manchester United debut to remember as he opened the scoring in United’s 2-0 win at Old Trafford. The Stockport born winger looked lively on his professional debut and capped off an impressive display with a brilliant individual goal. Receiving the ball on the left hand side, the 21 year old cut inside, jinked his way around several Palace defenders before blasting the ball beyond a hapless Wayne Hennessey. United fans love nothing more than a homegrown player and it will be really interesting to see whether Harrop is able to kick on next season.

The Finisher – Harry Kane

Realistically, who else was going to get the nod here? Kane is simply the best striker in the Premier League and one of the best, if not the best, in the world. In a season disrupted by injury, the Tottenham No.10 has still managed a staggering 29 goals in 30 Premier League appearances. His four goals against a desperately poor Leicester side in midweek were followed up by an equally impressive hat-trick against already relegated Hull City. Remarkably, there are still those who seem to be waiting, even hoping, for the wheels to fall off. On this evidence they will be waiting an awfully long time.

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Five-a-side TOTW: May 9th 2017

Picking an eleven is hard; picking just five is even harder.

Game week 36, and things are really heating up. Chelsea’s 3-0 win over Middlesbrough, coupled withTottenham’s 1-0 defeat to London rivals West Ham, means that the Blues are now only one win away from claiming the title. The result also meant that Middlesbrough were relegated to British footballs second tier for a joint record fourth time. Manchester City briefly moved up to third following Saturday’s 5-0 thrashing of a dire Crystal Palace side, however Liverpool’s goalless draw with Southampton meant that the Reds regained third place, albeit having played one game more. Arsenal grabbed an important win over Manchester United that ensured that they remained in the hunt for fourth, and all but ended any faint hope their visitors might have had of a finishing in the Champions League places. Elsewhere, Bournemouth and Stoke drew 2-2, while Burnley and West Brom shared the same scoreline in dead rubber fixtures. Finally, it was at the bottom where things really did get tasty. Hull’s defeat and Swansea’s victory meant that the Tigers dropped into the relegation zone with only two games left to play.

Goalkeeper – Fraser Forster 

This guy is a class act, but it would be wrong to suggest that his performances have reached the constant heights from which we have come to expect. The Saints stopper has looked slightly uncomfortable at times although he has not been aided by the fact that Virgil Van Dijk has been out for four months. Nevertheless, the ex-Celtic man was in sensational form as Southampton claimed an unlikely point at Anfield. His save from James Milner’s well struck penalty was no doubt the highlight. A really top display by the big man!

The Stopper – Laurent Koscielny 

Arsène Wenger finally ended his Mourinho hoodoo, largely thanks to a really rather brilliant performance by his captain. Koscielny was everywhere and did brilliantly up against the pace of his compatriot, Anthony Martial. The 31 year old reads the game brilliantly.  Time and time again he nipped in ahead of his opponent to win the ball back for his team. Arsenal once again lined up with a back three, with Rob Holding and Nacho Monreal either side of the Frenchmen. There was simply no way through for Mourinho’s men who lost in the league for the first time in 25 games.

The Anchor – Wilfred Ndidi 

Had Leicester signed this guy in the summer they would have been a million miles away from a relegation battle. As it is, their comfortable 3-0 win against Watford elevated them to the dizzy heights of ninth! Ndidi has been nothing short of a revelation since joining the Foxes from Genk in January. Still only 20, he looks like he has all the qualities to be  a real success in the Premier League. His goal against Watford was his third of the season. Not bad for a defensive minded midfielder.

The Playmaker – David Silva

Pardon the pun, but this guy is worth his weight in gold! Staggeringly, this is Silva’s first appearance in our five-a-side TOTW. He was just superb against Crystal Palace as his City side recorded a resounding 5-0 win. Although Silva got the ball rolling with a smart left footed volley, it was really his all round play that impressed. He is so intelligent, he just seems to glide into space and always seems able to pick out a killer pass. Manchester City are fortunate to have him, and we are lucky enough to be able to watch his brilliant playmaking skills every weekend.

The Finisher – Fernando Llorente 

I said at the beginning of the season that he would have to score goals if Swansea were going to stand any chance of staying up. The ex-Bilbao man has not disappointed, bagging an impressive 13 goals from 31 Premier League games. Of those 13, few will have been more important than the one he got against Everton. After Hull City had lost 2-0 at home to already relegated Sunderland, Llorente and his fellow Swans knew that any sort of victory against Everton would lift them out of the drop zone. Llorente’s header, his seventh of the season, means that Swansea now have their safety in their own hands.

Five-a-side TOTW: April 29th 2017

Picking an eleven is hard; picking just five is even harder.

We are almost over the line. This weeks five-a-side TOTW includes just the five matches. Chelsea maintained their four point lead over Tottenham with a 4-2 win over Southampton at Stamford Bridge. Arsenal left it late and needed the help of a Robert Huth own goal in order to seal three important points against Leicester City. Christian Eriksen’s ‘golazo’ was the difference in Tottenham’s match against a resurgent Crystal Palace. Middlesbrough won for the first time 2017 to all but condemn Sunderland to Championship football next season. And on Thursday the Manchester derby ended goalless.

Goalkeeper – Brad Guzan

Very much seen as the back up to Victor Valdés, the ex-Aston Villa keeper has had to accept a bit-part role. In fact, Wednesday’s 1-0 win over fellow strugglers Sunderland was only the 10th time that the American had appeared in a Middlesbrough shirt this season. Guzan looked assured between the sticks, and made an impressive four saves. The win was Boro’s first since in 2017. They had not claimed a Premier League win since the 3-0 hammering of Swansea City way back mid-December. That miserable run has all but confirmed that they will be playing their football in the Championship next season.

The Stopper – Eric Bailly

Injuries have not helped the young Ivorian settle. After starting this season as first choice and appearing in 13 of United’s first 15 matches, it seemed as though United manager, José Mourinho, had found his rock at the back. Since injuring his knee in United’s 4-0 defeat against champions elect Chelsea in late October, the ex-Villareal man has only appeared in 19 out of a possible 42 matches. He has started in United’s last nine games, a run that has seen them keep five clean sheets and only concede four goals. In the 0-0 draw over Manchester rivals, City, Bailly was absolutely superb. His speed, strength and reading of the game really shone through. If he can remain fit and injury free, United will have a serious player on their hands.

The Midfielder – Cesc Fàbregas

He’s in, he’s out. Poor old Cesc Fàbregas. He just can’t seem to get a solid run of games together. It is is true that he is competing for places with the PFA Player of the Year, N’Golo Kanté, and the vastly improved Nemanja Matic. Nonetheless, the ex-Arsenal man must be frustrated with his situation. If he was looking to make a point then his display in Chelsea’s entertaining 4-2 win over Southampton would not have done him any harm. Chelsea manager, Antonio Conte, cannot have helped but been impressed with the Spaniards intelligent use of the ball. Time and time again he picked out teammates with perfectly threaded passes, even assisting Costa for his first. Rumours continue to circulate regarding AC Milan’s interest in taking the ex-Arsenal and Barcelona man over to Italy in the summer. Fàbregas turns 30 next week, and he will no doubt be keen to ensure that he is part of a team that picks him more regularly than every other game.

The Playmaker – Christian Eriksen

I must confess – I have never really been convinced by this guy. I have always felt that he has flattered to deceive. Yes, his set pieces are nearly always on the money, and yes, he scores the odd spectacular goal; however, I have always felt that there has been something lacking from his game. I was astonished to find out earlier this week that the Dane has covered more ground than anybody else in the Premier League this season. Furthermore, he is second only to Manchester City’s Kevin De Bruyne for Premier League assists, with an impressive 12 to his name. His brilliant match winning goal against Crystal Palace was his eighth of the season, and it kept Tottenham’s unlikely title charge on track. I am going to have to eat my words over the ex-Ajax man and admit that he has turned into a really fine player.

The Finisher – Diego Costa

His form blows as hot and cold as his temperament. He scored 15 goals in his first 19 Premier League games of the season. In the following 12 he has managed just four. Against Southampton the Brazilian born Spain international was back to his best. An assist and two goals ensured that Chelsea kept their distance over Tottenham. His second goal was absolutely brilliant. Exchanging one-twos with two of his Chelsea teammates; Eden hazard first, then Pedro second, before rifling in a low drive past Fraser Forster in the Southampton goal. A brilliant performance overall.

Five-a-side TOTW: April 25th 2017

Picking an eleven is hard; picking just five is even harder.

This is the most controversial five-a-side formation I’ve ever picked; however, I am confident that it would work well. There were only six Premier League games this weekend. West Ham and Everton shared the spoils in a disappointing nil-all draw at the London Stadium. Swansea and Hull both claimed vital home wins over Stoke and Watford respectively. Bournemouth’s 4-0 win over Watford was their second biggest win of the season and moved them to within touching distance of Premier League safety. On Sunday, Manchester United continue their top-four charge with an impressive two-nil win at Burnley, while Crystal Palace’s Christian Bentéké came back to haunt his old club, scoring twice in a 2-1 win over Liverpool at Anfield.

Goalkeeper – Eldin Jakupovic

Jakupovic has been outstanding ever since Marco Silva got the Hull City job in early January. Prior to then he had been playing second fiddle to Scotland international David Marshall in the Tigers net. Since displacing him, the ex-Switzerland international has not looked back. Hull’s 2-0 win over Watford was as important as it was impressive. After having Oumar Niasse harshly sent off before half-time, Jakupovic had to be at his best to keep Watford’s strikers at bay. There were sixteen attempts on his goal, and he dealt with 100% of the crosses he came for. It really was a commanding display.

The RWB – Joel Ward

I really like Joel Ward. I think he is as solid as they come. Unspectacular, reliable and someone who you would generally want on your side. This wasn’t necessarily his finest game in a Palace shirt, but his contribution was certainly important as The Eagles won at Anfield for a staggering third year in a row. The win took Ward and his Palace teammates up to 12th in the league and, crucially, seven points above Swansea in 18th.

The LWB – Charlie Daniels

Another player who deserves a game in our five-a-side TOTW. Daniels has been a near ever-present for Bournemouth this season, featuring in 30 of their 34 Premier League games. His goal against Middlesbrough was his fourth of the season, and it sealed a vital win for The Cherries. Daniels and his Bournemouth team mates have endured a miserable 2017 – winning only three of their 15 Premier League games since the turn of the year. Saturday’s comprehensive win over their fellow Premier League strugglers took them up to 38 points – just two away from the magic 40 point mark.

The Middleman – Tom Carroll

I still think Swansea City will go down, however this won’t be down to the lack of effort of their players. They were absolutely brilliant in their 2-0 win of Stoke City at The Liberty, with Tom Carroll being the pick of the bunch. The young midfielder scored the decisive goal, albeit via deflection, to seal three priceless points for the Swans. He has been a revelation since signing from Tottenham for 4.5 million in January. If, as expected, Swansea go down at the end of the season, Carroll certainly won’t be short of suitors.

The Finisher – Christian Bentéké

I am never going to be convinced by Bentéké. He is big, strong and yet deceptively quick, he lacks the finesse to be a really top class striker. Nevertheless, his performance against Liverpool on Sunday afternoon was absolutely first class. Jürgen Klopp’s men could simply not handle his aerial prowess. It was clear via his celebrations that Bentéké enjoyed his return to Anfield. He made a point of running towards another Liverpool outcast, Mamadou Sakho, after scoring the equalising goal; a move that did not sit well with the Liverpool fans.  He now has 14 Premier League goals this season. His best return since his first season in England with Aston Villa.

Five-a-side TOTW: April 6th 2017

Picking an eleven is hard; picking just five is even harder.

Arsenal maintained their relatively slim top-four hopes with a comfortable 3-0 victory at home to out of form West Ham. There were also home wins for Leicester and Watford against Sunderland and West Brom respectively. Burnley secured an important win at home to Stoke to allay their relegation fears. Liverpool could only manage a 2-2 draw at home to Bournemouth whilst both Southampton and Chelsea won at home; the Saints defeating a resurgent Crystal Palace 3-1, and Chelsea recovering from their brief blip at the weekend to win 2-1 against Manchester City. A defeat that all but ended their visitors already slim title hopes. Hull recorded an important 4-2 win over Middlesbrough in an entertaining game at the KC. Manchester United left it late but recorded yet another home draw against Everton; Zlatan Ibrahimovic saving their blushes with a last minute spot kick. And finally Spurs scored three goals in the final five minutes to come from behind and defeat Swansea 3-1 at The Liberty Stadium. But who made it into our team of the week?

Goalkeeper – Kasper Schmeichel

Before Craig Shakespeare took the job many were expecting last seasons champions to be plying their trade in English football’s second tier next season. The appointment of Shakespeare has led to a drastic turnaround in the Foxes form. The 2-0 win over Sunderland was Leicester’s fifth Premier League win in a row and sixth in all competitions. It was also a second consecutive Premier League clean sheet for Schmeichel, only the second time he has managed this all season. Schmeichel has indisputably been Leicester’s best player this season. He has galvanised him teammates at times where they looked downtrodden and hopelessly out of form. Leicester will stay up this season, and Schmeichel will have more than played his part.

The Stopper – Phil Jagielka

This guy is an enigma. I sometimes look at him and think “how on earth can he have won 40 England caps?” Well his performance on Tuesday evening against Manchester United justified those 40 caps and probably silenced many of his critics. He was nothing short of outstanding as he captained Everton to a very deserved point at Old Trafford. The ex-Sheffield United man threw himself in front of shots, made perfectly timed tackles, and managed to silence the Stretford End with a really smart finish. Out of favour under Koeman for much of this season, the veteran centre half demonstrated that he is more than able to compete with the biggest names. Ibrahimovic was kept quiet up until his late penalty earned Manchester United a point they hardly merited.

The Enforcer – Idrissa Gueye

I said at the beginning of this season that this man would be Everton’s key summer signing. He really does look to have been a snip at £7 million. Like Jagielka he was brilliant against United; he controlled the game and won the ball back for his team on countless occasions. The Senegal international has made more tackles and interceptions than any other player in the Premier League this season. If Everton are going to make a late charge for the European places then Gueye will have to maintain his impressive form.

The Free Role – Eden Hazard

When he wants to be he is absolutely brilliant and, more often than not, when he is, so are Chelsea. Against Manchester City was one of those nights that the mercurial Belgian decided he was going to turn it on. His two goals maintained Chelsea’s seven point lead over London rivals Tottenham. He has been involved in 18 Premier League goals this season and looks likely to break his previous best Premier League goals tally which stands at 14 (he’s currently on 13). Chelsea will almost certainly go on to claim their second title in three years, and Hazard will have been one of the key players in the success.

The Finisher – Jamie Vardy

He has got six goals in the six games that Craig Shakespeare has been in charge. Prior to that he had only managed the same number in his previous 38 games. The upturn in Vardy’s form has been a key factor in Leicester’s recent run of results. After scoring an absolutely brilliant goal against Stoke in the previous game, Vardy continued his goalscoring run against the leagues basement club, Sunderland. With the Champions League returning this week and City facing a tricky trip to Atletico Madrid, Shakespeare and Leicester fans will be hoping that the Vardy party will keep going on.

Five-a-side TOTW: March 21st 2017

Picking an eleven is hard; picking just five is even harder.

Chelsea continued their march towards the title with an impressive win over Stoke City. West Brom shocked Arsenal at The Hawthorns, and Manchester United won at Middlesbrough. The best viewing was at The Etihad as Manchester City and Liverpool played out a very entertaining one-all draw. Elsewhere there were wins for Crystsal Palace, Everton, Bournemouth, Leicester, and Spurs. But who did enough to earn a place in Someone On the Post’s coveted five-a-side TOTW?

Goalkeeper – Tom Heaton

The Burnley stopper has excelled this season, and this has been evident by the fact that he has been included in our five-a-side TOTW no fewer than 5 times. Burnley’s trip to relegation favourites Sunderland was always likely to be a tricky affair. The Clarets had picked up just one point on their travels prior to Saturday’s dour 0-0 draw at the Stadium of Light. Although both teams were impotent in front of goal, Heaton always looked assured when called upon. It makes such a difference knowing you have a top keeper between the sticks.

Stopper – Mamadou Sakho

People accuse me of bias, and they probably do have a point – but I don’t really care. I love this guy and I am not ashamed to admit it. Since his introduction to the team in late February, the Eagles have won three consecutive games, all while keeping clean sheets. The big-Frenchmen is not solely responsible for this of course, however his strength, power, pace and reading of the game has certainly contributed to Palace’s upturn in form. How Liverpool could do with a central defender of his calibre…

The Anchor – Craig Dawson

I know this makes this team very defensive, but how can you leave out a defender who scores two goals? The simple answer is that you can’t! Dawson’s brace came from corners – it was almost as if West Brom had done their homework and decided to target Arsenal’s vulnerability in the air. Arsenal certainly had not done theirs, and it was evident as feeble marking allowed the ex-Rochdale man to treble his goal tally for the season in one afternoon.

The Playmaker – Jesse Lingard

I have been a fierce critic of his, and I must admit I continue to be unconvinced by his ability to hack it at both Manchester United or at international level with England. Yet even my cynicism cannot deny that Lingard’s performance, albeit against a woeful Middlesbrough side, was absolutely outstanding. He caused havoc amongst the Boro defence – taking them on at will and looking to run in behind. His goal was absolutely superb too. Receiving the ball just inside the Middlesbrough half, he ran at the retreating defenders before unleashing a ferocious shot into the top corner. It really was a sensational goal, and it capped off a very impressive individual performance.

The Finisher – Romelu Lukaku

If he is going to leave Everton in the summer he looks determined to do so as the leagues top scorer. His two goals on Saturday were typical strikers goals; what’s more they took his tally beyond 20 goals for the season – the first Everton player to do that since one Gary Lineker. Lukaku is a brilliant striker – big, strong, and deceivingly quick. The Belgian really does tick all the boxes. It is no surprise that some of Europe’s biggest clubs are sniffing around the ex-Chelsea striker. Still only 23, his best years are almost certainly ahead of him. Everton don’t want him to leave, and the fans sang his name throughout the 4-0 win over Hull. It will be interesting to see how his future plays out in the next few months.

Five-a-side TOTW: January 1st 2017

Picking an eleven is hard; picking just five is even harder.

The first five-a-side TOTW of 2017. We really were treated to a footballing feast over the weekend. At Stamford Bridge there was to be no unlucky 13 for Chelsea as they sealed a win that tied them level with Arsenal’s winning streak that they achieved during the 2001/02 season. Tottenham scored four goals away from home for the second time in four days. Manchester United left it late to seal victory at home to Middlesbrough, and Olivier Giroud’s wonderful goal helped Arsenal to a home win over Crystal Palace. Leicester won for the first time in four games, and Sunderland and Swansea both suffered heavy defeats. But who made it in to our five-a-side TOTW?

Goalkeeper – Lee Grant

Not many keepers concede four goals and still make it into our team. Grant had a wonderful game and prevented the result resembling something more akin to a cricket score. He made a number of brilliant saves, the most memorable being a sensational double save to first deny Diego Costa then Eden Hazard’s follow up. There is much speculation that Stoke will look to make his loan move a permanent one, and with Jack Butland looking to return within the next few weeks the Potters will certainly be blessed with goalkeeping options.

The Stopper – Laurent Koscielny

This was a close call. It was essentially a toss up between the Arsenal centre half and Bournemouth’s Nathan Aké. I’ve decided to go with Koscielny purely because he was facing a tougher opponent. Crystal Palace’s Christian Benteke is nearly always a handful; big, strong and powerful, he has bullied Premier League defenders ever since he arrived in England in 2012. Arsenal’s captain was resilient in defence and kept Benteke quiet as the Gunners cruised to a 2-0 home win. Arsenal have now kept consecutive Premier League clean sheets for the first time since April.

The Runner – James Milner 

I still can’t believe that James Milner hasn’t been found out at left back this season. When Klopp first moved the utility man to that position I thought, perhaps naively, that this was just a temporary stop-gap. How wrong I was. Milner looks as if he has been playing there his whole career. Against Manchester City he was his usual dependable self and marshalled City’s Raheem Sterling with consummate ease. Many have been speculating whether Klopp will dip into the transfer market and sign a more orthodox defender. On this evidence at least, it would simply be money down the drain.

The Playmaker – Dele Alli

After reading our last 5TOTW, Alli was clearly on a personal crusade to make it in this time around. And who can blame him? It’s a coveted position. The Spurs man was once again excellent, scoring twice and proving a constant menace to the Watford defence. With half the season remaining Alli already has eight Premier League goals, only two fewer than the total he achieved last season. Although Spurs lie 10 points behind Chelsea, Conte’s men visit White Hart Lane midweek, with Alli and his Spurs teammates keen to try and close the gap on the runaway leaders.

The Finisher – Andre Gray

Although Gray’s first Premier League hat-trick was against a woeful Sunderland side – we should not take anything away from the Burnley hitman. The ex-Brentford striker has struggled at times this season, and was not aided by a four match suspension he was forced to serve in September. During his absence from the side, Ashley Barnes and particularly Sam Vokes excelled in the forward roles. Gray had to bide his time before making it back into the Burnley starting XI. Burnley have got a real chance of staying up this season, and Gray could redeem himself for his early season struggles by firing the Clarets to Premier League safety in the second half of the campaign.

Five-a-side TOTW: December 15th 2016

Picking an eleven is hard; picking just five is even harder.

A full round of mid-week fixtures? It must be nearly Christmas. Chelsea benefitted from Arsenal’s 2-1 loss to Everton at Goodison Park by extending their lead to six points at the top of the Premier League. Manchester City won a league game at home for the first time in three months, and Liverpool halted their mini bad run of form with a resounding win at Middlesbrough. But who has made our five-a-side team of the week?

Goalkeeper – Simon Mignolet

Recalled for the first time in 10 Premier League games, and the Belgian did not disappoint. He looked solid and assured, particularly when he denied Victor Fischer’s rasping drive. The 3-0 win over Middlesbrough saw Liverpool claim their first clean sheet in three games, a welcome relief after conceding six in their previous two league games. Mignolet has been much criticised in the past, yet very few pundits would have found fault with his performance against the relegation candidates.

The Stopper – David Luiz

I have previously voiced concerns about this mans defensive abilities, but boy has he proved me wrong. He’s been a rock since rejoining Chelsea in the summer and has been the lynchpin in a defence that has conceded just two goals in ten Premier League games. Assured in possession and strong in the tackle, the Brazilian centre half really has been a revelation. Antonio Conte has deployed him in the centre of a back three with Cesar Azpilicueta and Gary Cahill either side. Together the trio have provided the foundations for a 10 game winning streak. Chelsea fans will hope that the big-haired Luiz will continue his impressive form.

The Runner – Adam Lallana 

In his first season at Liverpool he scored five league goals all season. In his second he could not even match that as he found the net just four times. This season, and bearing in mind we’re not even half way through, he has already six Premier League goals to his name. The goals he scored in Liverpool’s 3-0 win were testament to how he has improved as a player. The first was a bullet of a header from an impeccably timed the run. The second was a calm finish after he once again checked his run at the back post. He is fast becoming a key player for both club and country.

The Playmaker – Christian Eriksen

It took a while for the Dane to join the party – but after five goals in his last four Premier League games it would seem that Tottenham’s little maestro is back to his best. His double against Hull City was his second in as many games at White Hart Lane. Pochettino altered Tottenham’s formation slightly, choosing to go with a back three and two wing backs. This enabled Eriksen to play a little more centrally – a role that undoubtedly suits him better.

The Finisher – Salomón Rondón 

A hat-trick of headers! I honestly don’t think I’ve ever seen that before. The Venezuelan usually goes under the radar, but he is certainly one of the most underrated centre forwards in the Premier League. The West Brom No.9 certainly benefitted from some hopeless Swansea marking for his first two goals. On both occasions the Swans defence just simply seemed to switch off. However his third goal of the evening was a thing of beauty. Towering above two defenders, Rondon flicked the ball over the despairing Lukasz Fabianski. Rondon’s eight league goals this season have propelled West Brom up to the dizzy heights of seventh.

Five-a-side TOTW: August 23rd 2016

Picking an eleven is hard; picking just five is even harder.

Manchester claims the top two spots and the promoted sides grab precious victories. Here’s our Five-a-side Team of The Week.

Goalkeeper – Tom Heaton

With Liverpool rolling the ball around and racking up 80% possession, Burnley’s Heaton couldn’t afford to let his guard down.  The Chester born goalkeeper looked comfortable throughout his side’s 2-0 victory, gathering crosses with ease and stopping all the on-target strikes Liverpool could muster. A good season back in the Premier League will almost certainly see Heaton take his place in the England squad and extra motivation comes in the form of Joe Hart’s shaky Euros and recent demotion at Manchester City.

The Ball Winner – Curtis Davies

Ridiculed pre-season for seemingly weakening their squad since promotion, Hull City have collected six points from two games and sit third in the table. A mishmash backline sees midfielder Jake Livermore start alongside Curtis Davies at centre-back yet they’ve resembled a cohesive pair for much of the opening fixtures. Davies has never looked to have the measure of the Premier League but has found consistency at Hull and was great this past Saturday against Swansea. His heading prowess won’t be utilized at five-a-side but he’d act as our defensive rock.

Playmaker – Steven Defour

Nine of Liverpool’s starting XI made more than 50 passes on Saturday whilst just three of Burnley’s attempted over 20 (Heaton made the most!). Instead, Burnley setup with two banks of four and were remarkably disciplined, completely negating their opponent’s threat. Many of Burnley’s squad were well-rehearsed in this department, but new man Steven Defour was asked to slip seamlessly into the system. He worked hard all game and also acted as the main link to the front two, playing through Andre Gray for Burnley’s second.

The Finisher – Christian Stuani

So Jordan Rhodes finally gets a chance to score goals in the Premier League and he finds himself behind an ardent Alvaro Negredo and a brace-grabbing Christian Stuani. Both starred on Saturday lunchtime with Stuani putting Boro ahead with a hammer of a strike inside the first twenty minutes. The former Espanyol striker could easily have found himself the one on the bench following promotion but two goals against rivals Sunderland – and a blossoming relationship with Negredo – will stand him in fine stead.

Free Role – Zlatan Ibrahimović

I’m not sure Ibrahimović has the mindset for five-a-side football but I’m certain he’d score goals. The big man has brought to the Premier League everything he promised and there are no signs of the shortfalls some people predicted.  He keeps scoring for United which will top up his already over-flowing confidence. There have been no signs of his ego causing problems and he looks to have given a boost to each of his teammates. He stuck two away vs. Southampton on Friday and suddenly breaking the 30-goal mark looks ominously possible*.

*I still don’t think he’ll get 20

 

Your Premier League team’s key signing

Simmo takes a look at who your club has signed this summer.

ARSENAL – Granit Xhaka – £35 million from Borussia Monchengladbach

Granit Xhaka is the big new signing at The Emirates. The Switzerland international comes with a burgeoning reputation, but also a questionable disciplinary record. Having been sent off 3 times last season for Borussia Monchengladbach, the ex-Basel man will have to watch his step. Nevertheless, with a venomous left-foot, and an eye for a pass, the 23 year old has all the credentials to be a real success in the Premier League.

BOURNEMOUTH – Jordon Ibe – £15 million from Liverpool

There were a few eyebrows raised when Eddie Howe parted with £15 million for the ex-Wycombe youth. The young winger has flattered to deceive for much of his career to date, yet the Cherries clearly saw enough to warrant smashing their transfer record. At only 20 years of age his best years are ahead of him – it could be a big year for both Ibe and Bournemouth.

BURNLEY – Jóhann Berg Guðmundsson – £2.5 million from Charlton Athletic

Fresh from Iceland’s extraordinary run to the quarter-finals of Euro 2016, Guðmundsson will look to make an impact in the top flight. He impressed last year in a Charlton side that was eventually relegated to the third tier. This will be a big step up, but if he can replicate the form he showed during the summer, then Guðmundsson could turn out to be a shrewd acquisition.

CHELSEA – N’Golo Kanté – £32 million from Leicester City

At £32 million this guy is a snip. The outstanding midfielder in the league last season. He covers every blade of grass, wins tackles and keeps things simple. Will be perfect for Conte’s new-look Chelsea, and will act as a foil for the likes of Willian and Hazard further up the pitch. If Chelsea do lift the trophy in nine months’ time, then Kanté will no doubt have played his part.

CRYSTAL PALACE – Steve Mandanda – Free Transfer from Marseille

Possibly the best value signing made thus far. The Zaire born French stopper is a class act. After 9 years and nearly 450 games on the French Riviera with Marseille, the France international decided that it was time for a clean break. With 22 caps for Les Bleus, (he would’ve had many more it weren’t for Hugo Lloris), Mandanda brings a wealth of experience. Will oust Wayne Hennessey from the No.1 spot, and is a must for your fantasy team. An inspired signing by Pardew.

EVERTON – Idrissa Gana Gueye – £7 million from Aston Villa

One of the few bright sparks in a Villa team that was relegated from the top division for the first time since 1987. Gueye has few supporters back at Villa Park, but new manager Ronald Koeman thinks that the Senegal international can add some steel to an Everton team that has massively underperformed for the last two seasons.

HULL CITY – No signings made

It’s been a summer of upheaval at the KC. The Tigers are currently without a manager since Steve Bruce left, citing differences between himself and owner/chairman, Assem Allam. There are only 9 outfield players fit at the point of writing with the future looking pretty bleak for last seasons playoff winners. With under a week to go until the start of the season Hull need to invest in a squad that is desperately short on not only numbers, but also quality.

LEICESTER CITY – Nampalys Mendy – £13 million from OCG Nice

The French midfielder has a nigh on impossible task on his hands – replace N’Golo Kanté. Mendy is not a like-for-like replacement; he’s less dynamic, and his reading of the game is not as good. Having said that, he’s a better passer of the ball than his fellow Frenchmen, and may even be a better defensive shield for the back four. With Danny Drinkwater alongside him to guide him through difficult periods in games, Leicester will recover from the blow of losing Kanté. Mendy will need to have a big season if Leicester are to once again upset the apple cart.

LIVERPOOL – Sadio Mané – £34 million from Southampton

Another player Liverpool have pinched from Southampton. Mané joins no fewer than three of his ex- St Mary’s teammates at Anfield. At £34 million big things are expected, but there are signs in pre-season that he has what it takes to manage the expectation. Places in the Liverpool frontline will be hotly contested, yet Mané offers pace and a natural width that few else do in the current squad. It could be a big year for the red half of Merseyside, and the 24 year old could well play an important role.

MANCHESTER CITY – Leroy Sané – £37 million from Schalke 04

The initial fee is £37 million, but this could rise by another £9.5 million depending on trophies and appearances. It’s a huge fee to pay for someone with fewer than 50 league games under their belt. Nevertheless, Guardiola clearly saw enough in his final year in the Bundesliga to convince the City board to fork out the cash. In doing so, Sané became the most expensive German player of all time. This season he will be competing with Kevin de Bruyne, Raheem Sterling, and fellow newcomer Nolito for a place on the City flanks. Much is expected from the young German, and he will have to contribute a lot in order to justify his huge transfer fee.

MANCHESTER UNITED – Zlatan Ibrahimovic – Free Transfer from Paris Saint Germain

He’s finally in the Premier League. United and Ibrahimovic are a perfect fit. At 34 years old, age is no longer on Zlatan’s side. However, a career best 50 goals in 51 games (including 38 in Ligue 1) last season for PSG, goes to show that age is merely just a number. Early signs are that he will make a big impression; he scored the winner in the Community Shield on his competitive debut. Having worked under Mourinho before, both will know what to expect from one another. Don’t be surprised to see him with the golden boot at the end of the campaign.

MIDDLESBROUGH – Victor Valdés – Free Transfer from Manchester United

This is a man who has won 3 Champions Leagues, 6 La Liga titles, 2 Copa del Rey’s, and countless other trophies, not to mention a World Cup and a European Championship. Since leaving Barcelona two years ago Valdés has only played 10 games. It has been a bizarre decline for a goalkeeper with such pedigree. Usually used to challenging for titles, this season will be the reverse. He will be kept very busy and could well be the difference between Middlesbrough staying up or going down.

SOUTHAMPTON – Pierre-Emile Højbjerg – £13 million from Bayern Munich

The young Danish international said he needed to move in order to gain first team football. If he wants to re-join one of Europe’s elite clubs then Southampton is the perfect stepping stone. The ex-Bayern man is a really clever player; good on the ball, and not afraid of a tackle. Could be one of the surprises this season.

STOKE CITY – Joe Allen – £12 million from Liverpool

Outstanding in Wales’ run to the semi-finals at Euro 2016. Mark Hughes has changed Stoke’s long ball approach since taking over from Tony Pulis three years ago. Allen ticks all the boxes for Hughes. An intelligent ball playing midfielder; he will form an exciting midfield partnership with Gianelli Imbula.

SUNDERLAND – Papy Djilobodji – £8 million from Chelsea

Djilobodji is Sunderland’s only signing in what has been an incredibly disrupted summer. Losing manager Sam Allardyce to the England manager’s job meant that little in the way of transfer activity took place. Djilobodji was one of José Mourinho’s last signings at Chelsea. He made one cameo appearance in the League Cup before leaving in January to join Werder Bremen on loan. In Germany he impressed, and new manager David Moyes was quick to make his move upon his appointment last month.

SWANSEA CITY – Fernando Llorente – Free Transfer from Sevilla

The Navarrese native has pedigree. A 2010 World Cup and Euro 2012 winner – there aren’t many of them in the Premier League. Nevertheless, at 31 years of age his best years are behind him. Swansea will struggle this season, and the ex-Juventus striker will do well to reach double figures. If Swansea are going to stay up then Llorente’s goals could be vital.

TOTTENHAM HOTSPUR – Victor Wanyama – £12 million from Southampton

The Kenya international re-joins Pochettino after two years apart. The ex-Celtic man scored against Barcelona in the Champions League and can look forward to more European nights with Spurs this season. With Moussa Dembélé suspended for the opening 5 games of the season, Wanyama will have to be at his creative best. Disciplinary issues have previously been a problem, and he will have to watch out when coming up against Europe’s stricter referees.

WATFORD – Jerome Sinclair – £4 million from Liverpool

Sinclair moved at the end of his contract, but due to being under 24, Watford and Liverpool had to agree a compensation package. A £4 million fee was agreed, and this could well turn out to be a bargain. Sick of not getting a chance at Liverpool, Sinclair will have to settle for a place on the bench initially. With Troy Deeney and Odion Ighalo in front of him, Sinclair will have to bide his time, yet, should an injury occur then Sinclair will be ready to make his mark.

WEST BROMWICH ALBION – Matt Phillips – £5 million from Queens Park Rangers

I don’t know why more weren’t chasing the Scotland international. He’s quick, tricky, and hard-working. Pulis has shown a penchant for speedy wingers at West Brom, and Phillips certainly fits the role. Could be a real player to watch this season.

WEST HAM UNITED – Sofiane Feghouli – Free Transfer from Valencia

The French born Algerian international has managed to gain a bit of a bad boy reputation. Under Slaven Bilić any nonsense will not be tolerated. If Bilić can extract some of the Algerian’s potential then he could well turn out to be a smart piece of business.